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Spoonerisms and other Random Whiticisms

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Random Spoonisms for your reading pleasure

So we were playing Trivial Persuit in high school and the question came up "Which one of Robin Hoods Merry Men would you be embarrased to Spoonerise?"  We did not know what spoonerization was at that time but we kind of figured it out when we looked at the answer and saw that it was Friar Tuck.  The spoonerization of which is of course Tiar Fuck.
This can also be done with phrases, the most popular of which seems to be
I would rather have a bottle in front of me than a frontal lobatomy.
I know submit my own contributions for your enjoyment.
I would rather do tai chi than drink chai tea.  (I really don't like Chai Tea)
I was talking to a friend recently and having one of my "good days", which prompted her to say "wow, It's hard to keep a good man down."  To which I responded, "Yeah, but it's good to go down on a hard man."  Not really a true spoonerazation but it was an inspired conversational momment, and in the same spirit as the spoonerazation.
Finally, I will leave you kind reader with my favorite divorce quote that I have heard recently.  This is not on my quotes page because it belongs over here as just something to laugh at whereas the quotes on the quotes page are more of a historical timeline of where I  was at during a specific time.  
This comes from the show The War at Home on Fox, 
The best way to get over someone, is to get under someone.
Also not a spoonerization but in the same spirit and very clever I thought.   
January 2007 - Just got back from the NAMM show and saw a T-shirt that warrented being posted here.  It read as follows:
Ass...the other Vagina
Shortly After which I saw that following sign.  I have no idea what this event really is, but I thought the sign represented a line of questioning that must certainly be interesting.  Wish I could have attended the Interviews.


I was at church and someone suggested that I date one of the parishners that has worked with XXX ministries (the people that give bibles to porn stars and strippers and tell them that god still loves them).  I replied that even though she is really nice we seem to have different agendas and the following came out:
she wants to get naked women to put their clothes on and worship
and I want woman that worship to take their clothes off and get naked.
I just did not think it would work out. 

I have five friends that I have known since High School that I still keep in touch with.  Sometimes we send group e-mails back and forth.  This was a recent string of e-mails prompted from an exerpt of one of Chris' e'mails.
"By the way, on a completely different topic, today I
took my Camaro for its bi-weekly drive and I happened
to be on the 405 heading toward the John Wayne
Airport, when a black Lamborghini pulls up near is none other than Vin Diesel driving. He gave
me a thumbs up, smiled and turned his baseball cap
backwards, and then stomped on the gas and was
literally in another zip code before I even processed
what had just happened. Cool."
In response to this Alex wrote:
By the way, on a completely different topic, LAST
WEEK, we
took OUR PRIUS for a drive and happened
to be on the 210 heading toward URANUS, when a
SOLAR PROTYTPE CAR pulls up near is none other than ED BEGLEY JUNIOR
driving. He gave
me a thumbs up, smiled and turned his BICYCLE
HELMET backwards (?), and
LEVER and was literally TWO
before I even processed
what had just happened. Cool.
In Response to that Devin wrote:

So I just got finished stealing this bicycle from
the 4 year old neighbor
girl (she put up a fight, but I won in the end) and
I as I was riding down
the street, up pulls this kick-ass Schwinn and who
was on it....that's
right...Dustin "Screech" Diamond. He looked at me
 and gave me the thumbs up
as he turned his retainer backwards in his mouth.
It was awesome....after I
pushed him to the floor and stomped him....I took
 his bike, too...
I don't need two bikes, does anyone want one?

And Finally I had to put my two cents in to finish things up oh so nicely:

So I was
riding my big wheel down the street to go play
Masters of the
Universe with Craig Miller when Jimmy from HR
Puff-N-Stuff came up along
side me in his Leg Powered Green Machine. His magic
flute Freddy winked at
me from his shirt pocket and Jimmy turned him around backwards to suffocate
the little flute. He then sped away and was gone
faster than I could say
T-Rex and Dinotron.


Deo, Non Fortuna

Wicked Cool Man!